What a super way to kick off the new year. Sorry that there was a bit of an intermission in the Friday Morning Latin Lessons, but I got lazy over the break and then I didn't have an internet connection...well, I did, but it was through my wife's computer and she was busy always looking up pictures of Christian Bale. You'd think she'd be above being obsessed with an attractive celebrity or seek professional help or something like that.
Speaking of Christian Bale, he was in this little movie last summer about some scientist dedicated to studying order chiroptera or providing sticks of lumber for professional athletes--I dunno, I was too busy thinking "Maggie Gyllenhaal is all they could get?". Not to be outdone by his nocturnal friendly rival, Superman has decided to get out in the public eye just a little bit more this year. What better way than through my blog? Since he's sort of a big deal (like the Snorg tees girl, but with smaller tits and front teeth), I decided that Supes would be an excellent choice for the first Latin Lesson of 200P. Naturally, I would have preferred "I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back" for the Latin lesson, but you'll have to make do with this slightly less Krypto-orgasmic reference.
Potest salire aedificium magnum soltu solo.
Pronounced: "Poe-taste sah-leer-ray eye-dee-fee-key-oom mahg-noom soul-too sow-low."
12 Clever Witticisms
Ahem, Maggie Gyllenhaal is sexy. Waaayy more sophisticated than those other toys they usually cast in the female sidekick/love interest types of roles.
Ironically:
"...gyllenhaal..."
..is the sound I'd make as I'm throwing one in her.
Since this is my first latin lesson and I had no clue as to what the hell hovertext is I thought I'd have to point blank ask you...But then I decided to actually think about it and I "hovered". That is way cool. I'm such an amateur blogger.
Batman is way better than Superman.
I just read online today that Superman has finally integrated Krypton to include people of color. It used to be in the comics that all of the black Krypton-people lived on a separate island. No joke necessary on that one...
That Snorg tees girl is everywhere. I wonder how many T-shirts you have to buy before you get to gyllenhaal the shit out of her.
I have to agree with you, Maggie Gyllenhaal always looks as if gravity is working extra hard on her... she has either a sad or sour face and terrible posture.
@ Candy: Glad to see your brains aren't too scrambled to realize this.
@ SassyBritches: Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't kick Mags out of bed for eating crackers. If my wife came home early from work, yes, but not for eating crackers. I just thought that, in the pretty effing amazing cast of Dark Knight, she was the weak link.
@ moooooog35: Really? Cause I'd think it'd be a perfect euphemism for firing off a wad. Like, I just gyllenhaaled all over her face.
@ Susan: You can thank Rider, if he ever shows back up around here for teaching me the ways of the hovertext, who learned it from McGone, who is McGone now, but not McForgotten.
@ red: Amen, but I couldn't find anything remotely Batmannish in my library of ridiculous Latin quotations. Although, Supes did have a red-headed girlfriend for a while.
@ Mike: Damn, talk about "there goes the neighborhood". You're right. No joke was necessary.
@ Frank: Goddammit. I hate it when my readers tag-team to make comments funnier than the original blogpost. Well done, sir, well done.
@ SouthernBelle: She has a funny nose, like it's made out of clay or something. But, yeah, she does seem to have some sort of extra gravity field around her. Still, I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers and accelerating things faster than 9.8 m/s^2.
How do you say "He demands that we stop making live-action movies about him until we can find someone to portray him who isn't a complete pansy" in Latin?
@ TishTash: Illiud Latine dici non potest
Dammit Jenks!! Why am I always a day late and a dollar short?
I really needed this exact translation exactly two days ago!! And where were you then?! HUH? HUUHHH???? If I were to guess, I'd say hanging out with Amy Adams... that damn chick is always stealing all of my redhead lovers! :)
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Desperately Seeking Inspiration From:
- Y: The Last Man
- Word Histories and Mysteries*
- What in the Word?*
- Truck: A Love Story*
- The Watchmen*
- The Sandman*
- The Last Temptation*
- The Dark Knight Strikes Again*
- The Dark Knight Returns*
- Shakespeare: The World as Stage*
- Orcs*
- Neither Here Nor There*
- Mars 3-D*
- Irish Coffee*
- How the Irish Saved Civilization
- Filthy Shakespeare*
- Emerald Aisle*
- Death: The Time of Your Life*
- Death: The High Cost of Living*
- ABC et cetera
- A Midsummer's Night Dream
Titular Concept
...he looked down as the crown of thistles lay across his palms, the gold cool to the touch but white hot with its symbolism. Their eyes were upon him, watching and waiting for his next move; he could feel their unrelenting gazes as they stared at him, peering into his very soul. Raising his eyes, he met their gazes: his wife, his brothers, his sister, his friends, those men who swore their oaths of fealty to him, those men who promised to die for him. 'I will sentence us all to death with this,' Alexander announced to a silent room, 'but if you so desire it, I shall be your king.' He opened his mouth to say more, but instead raised the golden circlet to his head and set it upon his brow. The King of Thistles had been crowned...
Geekeration
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